Friday, January 19, 2018

Are You Ready for Change?

If you are tired of "going through the motions" on a daily basis, feeling unhappy, discontented, and unsatisfied, I would like to meet with you to discuss your experience and explore possibilities. Sometimes it is helpful to have someone there with you to discover new approaches to the old dilemmas.

I believe we learn to live a "socially acceptable life" at a cost. To be accepted socially (e.g., in our families, at work, in society), we tend to grow up trying to meet the expectations of others, ostensibly to be safe and protected. As a result, in adulthood we find our lives have often become a compromise that is incongruous with our core, authentic self. We end up with a life that is a substitute for the real thing.

While it appears that some people do just fine, others feel out of place, like they are living some other person's life. This situation can be magnified when one or both partners in a couple experience the discontent and lack of authentic connection within themselves and in their relationship. (See Couples Therapy for more information.)

A life incongruous with your core, authentic self may leave you feeling trapped and limited in your ability to experience meaning or real pleasure. You may experience depression (i.e., sadness, hopelessness, despair, even suicidal thoughts) as a consequence. Your creative expression may be blocked. You may feel that you don't know yourself and/or your partner--you feel disconnected. You may have one or more addictions, which usually develop to provide temporary relief, distraction and/or escape. There are many outcomes to living a substitute life—most of them are not very healthy or satisfying.

Sometimes you need to take the time to explore and acknowledge your feelings and understand those parts of yourself that have been buried or pushed aside. This exploration can be the first step to feeling connected within yourself and connected with others. I can accompany you on this exploration—it isn't necessary to go it alone. I listen and I'm patient, and this can be the most important support you need right now to feel some relief and experience the potential for real change.

T. S. Eliot quote:  We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will to be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Feel free to call me at 831.419.9224 or send email to Celena Allison, MFT (click link).